dragonagecompanionsreact:
Imagine an AU
Where, for some reason, the Inquisition finds out Solas is the Dread Wolf prematurely. Solas then somehow manages to convince the party that what ACTUALLY happened was that he was asleep in Uthenera with the orb until Corypheus woke him up, beat the shit out of him, and took the orb.
There’s this long silence and then–
“So what you’re telling us,” Bull says, “is that you’re a dog who wants his ball back.”
He then becomes the butt of EVERY DOG JOKE EVER. “Hey, Chuckles, the others say you can’t have your ball back after all of this,” Varric says cheerfully, “but don’t worry, I bought you one that’s much better.” It’s a dog ball. Sometimes the others toss it at him and tell him to fetch.
Sera wakes him up periodically with pranks and remarks “just to make sure you don’t sleep too long again, Wolfy McWolfy-Pants.”
Varric finishes his novel about the Inquisition with the note that: “The moral of this story is, don’t sleep in too long, or else a darkspawn magister will wake you up, beat you to near-death, and steal your stuff.”
And that’s tonight’s round of shitposting.
–Mod Sarah
